Written by Fantasy Girl
Psst, came a sound from the doorway of the house on the corner of the street. Psst, James. It came again.
“Who goes there?” James paused. “My god, who actually says that any more?” He added in spoken thought as he reached the place where the sound emerged from.
He looked around the corner but there was no one there.
I’m right next to you, you dimwit. Turn around!
He span around to where the voice came from, the only thing there was a slug, which was sat at eye level on the wall to his left.
That’s right, I’m a slug, get over it. Now, I have some important news for you.
“What the…” The slug’s head turned towards him, and a smile came to its lips. “You’re smiling at me, am I asleep or something? This isn’t happening.”
Get over it. But seriously, I have some news you may be interested in.
“You’re a slug! Slug’s don’t have ‘news’!”
And you’re an ignorant human, one who believes they are the only species that has breaking news.. But guess what? I’m over it, so you should be too, so shut up and listen to me!
“I… I’m sorry?”
I said shut up and listen to me!
James noticed for the first time that the slug’s lips were moving while he was talking. A shudder ran through his body.
And you’re human. Do you want to hear this news or not?
I’m going to hand you a piece of paper, and on that piece of paper there is a word. If you say this word, or this word is said directly to you, the world will end.
You heard me.
“I’m not sure I did… you’re going to hand me a piece of paper? You’re a-“
Yeah, I’m a slug, we’ve gathered that fact. Typical bloody human. You’re more worried that a slug is going to hand you a piece of paper than you are about the world ending!